Fit the Fourteenth is the fourteenth episode or "fit" of the radio series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and the second in the Tertiary Phase.

Story Summary

Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect arrive at Lords Cricket Ground towards the end of the last test of the Ashes. A policeman takes them off the field, and they find a newspaper. Arthur realises that he has read it before - the day before the Earth was destroyed. He catches a cricket ball in his bag but does not give it back.

Ford realises that there is a Somebody Else's Problem field, or SEP, near the pitch, but he can't see what it is hiding. However, Arthur can and sees that it is a spaceship.

Slartibartfast appears and, after congratulating Arthur on the fact that his team has won, tells them that great things are afoot. He walks to the centre of the pitch and demands to be given the Ashes, on the grounds that they are vitally important to the safety of the Galaxy. He is refused, and another spaceship lands, this one filled white robots dressed for cricket. They partially destroy the pitch with grenades disguised as cricket balls and take the Ashes.

Arthur and Ford hitch a lift with Slartibartfast on his ship, the one underneath the SEP.

Meanwhile, Marvin is once again conversing with Zem the mattress. Suddenly the white robots arrive and take his false leg, and then decide to take the rest of him.

Cast and characters