The Haggunenons of Vicissitus Three are a constantly evolving, heavily insecure race of beings encountered in the radio series (Fit the Sixth) when Ford and Zaphod attempted to steal an Admiral's flagship from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
Entry in the Guide
According to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
"The Haggunenons of Vicissitus Three have the most impatient chromosomes of any life-forms in the galaxy. Whereas most races are content to evolve slowly and carefully over thousands of generations - discarding a prehensile toe here, nervously hazarding another nostril there, the Haggunenons would do for Charles Darwin what a squadron of Arcturan Stunt-Apples would have done for Sir Isaac Newton.
"Their genetic structure, based on the quadruple-striated octo-helix, is so chronically unstable, that far from passing their basic shape onto their children, they will quite frequently evolve several times over lunch. But they do this with such reckless abandon that if, sitting at the table, they are unable to reach a coffee spoon, they are liable without a moment's consideration to mutate into something with far longer arms - but which is probably quite incapable of drinking the coffee.
This, not unnaturally, produces a terrible sense of personal insecurity and a jealous resentment of all stable life-forms, or “filthy rotten stinking samelings” as they call them. They justify this by claiming that as they have personally experienced what it is like to be virtually everybody else they can think of, they are in a very good position to appreciate all their worst points. This appreciation is usually military in nature and is carried out with unmitigated savagery from the gunrooms of their horribly beweaponed, chameleoid death flotilla.
Experience has shown that the most effective way of dealing with any Haggunenon you may meet is to run away… terribly fast."
The Haggunenon appeared in Fit the Sixth, with the Haggunenon Admiral as the owner of the spacecraft that Ford and Zaphod stole so that they, and Trillian, Arthur, and Marvin, could leave Milliways (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe). In subsequent adaptions of the radio show, the spacecraft is instead the property of Hotblack Desiato, the lead singer of Disaster Area.
The Stolen Flagship
The previous episode, Fit the Fifth, ended with Arthur having pointed out that a fleet of black battlecruisers had been tailing their stolen ship for quite a while, and Marvin telling everyone on board that they had stolen an Admiral's flagship. He knew this because he parked it, during his very long stint as a car park attendant for Milliways.
In Fit the Sixth, it was revealed that the flagship belonged to a Haggunenon Admiral after both Zaphod and Trillian encountered the Admiral's second in command, the Underfleet Commander, each seeing them in a different form, through the visiscreen. The Second in Command's first form was of a big leopard wearing an in-flight casual spacesuit (split to the navel), then as a shoebox full of size nine Chukka boots. Both times the Underfleet Commander mistakenly assumed that Zaphod and Trillian were the same people, due to Haggunenons constantly changing appearances.
The Haggunenon Admiral was assumed to be still inside Milliways, enjoying their meal. It was revealed that the Admiral had been sleeping on their flagship in the form of a chair, one which Zaphod said could have been made for him, due to its two headrests, which turned out to quite likely be the Admiral's eyebrows instead. The Admiral then evolved into a copy of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, from which Ford and Arthur were able to escape via an escape pod, but which ate Marvin, Trillian, and Zaphod. Those three later made their escape when the Admiral evolved into an escape capsule.
- The Underfleet Commander only appears in Fit the Sixth of the radio series, voiced by Aubrey Woods.
- This monster also appears in the "Dungeons and Dragons Epic Level Handbook" as the Hagunemnon. Like their Hitchhiker's counterparts, they too are unstable shapeshifters with a deep loathing for non-shapeshifting lifeforms.
- A similar creature appears on the BBC TV series Red Dwarf.