The Sqornshellous system is a six-star system twenty-seven light years from Earth. All of the planets mentioned are mainly inhabited by living cushions, mattresses and pillows. This system gives its name to the handbook of mattress etymology, Sqornshellous Swamptalk.


The planets in the Sqornshellous system include:

  • Sqornshellous Alpha[1] is a cold and unpleasant planet in which bristled acid-spitting mattresses are found.
  • Sqornshellous Beta is a desert, with square cushions which rub up your back.
  • Sqornshellous Gamma is hot and bumpy, with extremely thick atmosphere. It is "the worst place to crash-land" due to the thick atmosphere, which blocks radio and holographic waves, plus the 12' by 9' cushions are so forgetful that a conversation would go like this:
Who are you?
I'm (name)
Yeah. Who am I?
I don't know. You are a cushion.
Oh yeah. Who are you?
A person would die of frustration within an hour.
  • Sqornshellous Delta is apparently a gas giant, inhabited by flying pillows. It is famed for Thor's record for spontaneous flaybooz detonation whilst in orbit.[2]
  • Sqornshellous Epsilon is most likely to be barren and uninhabited by bed furniture, or else destroyed.
  • Sqornshellous Zeta is a swampy planet inhabited by one-foot mattresses who are all called Zem. These mattresses "flollop, gollop, volluw, voom, and willomy" and are caught, totally killed, freeze-dried, cleaned and then used as mattresses in the respective term.

Behind the scenes

The Sqornshellous system has the most mentioned planets than any other star system to date.

Notes and references

  1. The naming of the planets apparently is in order of discovery, not distance from its sun
  2. From the introduction of the Eoin Colfer novel And Another Thing....