The Teleportation Blues is a song that appears in the Hitchhiker's universe. The words were written by Douglas Adams and the music by Philip Pope. The words were originally two different songs, with the last four lines their own song, but Pope joined them together for the radio show.
It was sung by Left Brain, played by Mitch Benn, in Fit the Twenty-Eighth of the Hexagonal Phase of the radio series.
Lyrics[]
Aldebaran's great okay, Algol's pretty neat, Betelgeuse's pretty girls, Will knock you off your feet.
They'll do anything you like, Real fast and then real slow, But if you have to take me apart to get me there, Then I don't want to go.
Singing, take me apart, take me apart, What a way to roam. And if you have to take me apart to get me there, I'd rather stay at home.
Sirius is paved with gold, So I've heard it said, By nuts who then go on to say, "See Tau before you're dead",
I'll gladly take the high road, Or even take the low, But if you have to take me apart to get me there, Then I for one won't go.
Singing, take me apart, take me apart, You must be off your head, And if you try to take me apart to get me there, I'll stay right here in bed.
I teleported home one night, With Ron and Sid and Meg. Ron stole Meggie's heart away, And I got Sidney's leg."