SAM 0952

Wonko's Toothpicks.

Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.
—The toothpick instructions that convinced Wonko mankind in general was crazy.[src]

John Watson, also known (at his own request) as Wonko the Sane was a marine biologist and scientist who lived in coastal California and is very sane. He and his wife Arcane Jill Watson lived in a curious place called the Outside of the Asylum.

John calls himself Wonko in order to remind himself that a scientist must be like a child in having no preconceived notions - "Wonko" being a childhood nickname bestowed by his mother. Wonko added the epithet "the Sane" to his name in order to reassure people of his sanity. That sanity was called into question frequently, not least because of Wonko's repeated insistence that he was visited by green-winged angels on scooters.[1]


The Asylum[]

The Asylum was set up one day after Watson came across a set of detailed instructions on a set of toothpicks. Watson, distressed and fearing for the world's sanity, built the Asylum to put it in and help it get better. The Asylum is a four-walled house turned inside out. That which one would be inclined to take as the door into the house opens into a lawn with benches and walking paths. This is the area that Watson calls Outside the Asylum. Thus, the inside of the asylum contains the entire world, save for that small area. Within that small outside area, Watson has mounted the instructions for the toothpicks, in order to discourage himself and others from going back into the asylum.

Arthur and Fenchurch's visit[]

Arthur Dent and Fenchurch pay Wonko a visit and learn that like both of them, he had also received a fishbowl from the dolphins (having been a marine biologist and close to them). He also claims to have seen angels with golden beards, green wings and Dr Scholl sandals, who drive little scooters, do a lot of coke and are very wonderful about a whole range of things. Arthur and Fenchurch discover the truth behind this after they have seen God's Last Message to His Creation.


Wonko the Sane appeared in:

Behind the scenes[]

Wonko the Sane is portrayed by Christian Slater in the radio series.

Notes and references[]

  1. These angels were later revealed to be the guardians of God's Final Message to Creation.