Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory is a 12 volume epic poem by Grunthos the Flatulent. It features only in the television series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; it is known as My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles in all versions except the TV series.

In a desperate bid to save all life, Grunthos' major intestine jumped up his neck and throttled his brain just as he was about to give a reading of his poem.


Relax mind.
Relax body.
Relax bowels.
Do not fall over.
You are a cloud.
You are raining.
Do not rain.
While train.
Is standing at a station.
Move with the wind.
Apologise where necessary.


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